Gen. 5.9-Matthew

Kia was sleeping after they gave her a sedative. She woke up and freaked out when they were trying to give her the IV. She kept screaming about not being drugged up and fighting to get free. It was scary to watch her lose it like that. I’d always had a feeling there was something off about Kia. I mean I knew about her forgetfulness, and random outbursts, but today was something different. I heard her let out a small groan from the bed.

“Hey, welcome back,” I said getting up to stand beside her. She tried to raise her arm only to realize they were restrained.

“Wh…what. Let me go!” She yelled yanking her arm harder.

“Kia, calm down, okay!”

“Matt…please get these things off me. Please!” She begged. “I can’t end up like her! I can’t!”

My heart increased. Holy shit she was losing it again! She kept yanking at the restraining cuffs, tears ran from the corner of her eyes. I didn’t know what to do. I could only watch in horror as she had a meltdown.

“Matt please!!!”She begged.

“Ms. Borders you’ve got to calm down.” The doctor said as he and the nurse rushed into the room.

Kia continued to scream and fight; kicking her legs and trying to yank her arms free.

More nurses rushed into the room and I backed up against the wall, taking deep slow breaths trying to keep a lid on my own growing anxiety. What the hell was wrong with her? Finally one of the nurses injected something into her IV and after a few moments she started to calm down. Kia started to cry and kept saying she didn’t want to end up like her. Who was her? The walls felt like they were closing in on me. I struggled for breath. I needed to get out of this room. I pushed my way past the small crowd that had gathered outside her door. Once outside I took off in a run. I needed to run long and hard.

One…two…three…I started counting my strides. Her freak out was unreal. Seven…eight…nine…Why would she act so crazy when all they wanted to do was help? Fourteen…fifteen…sixteen…Who was her and why didn’t she want to end up the same way? I kept running. I passed students looking at me but I didn’t care. I kept going til I was off campus. Maybe she was right about us going our separate ways. One hundred thirty…one hundred thirty-one…No, I couldn’t just abandon her. She was my friend and clearly she needed one.

 

I stopped. My breathing was heavy. I was sweating a lot. It would be a long walk back to campus. Luckily I was able to hail a cab. After a quick shower, I headed back to the clinic to see if she was still there. I knocked lightly and heard her say come in.

“Matt!” She said happily, her face breaking out into a large grin. “How did you know I was here? Are those for me?” she asked pointing at the flowers.

“Um…yeah,” I replied sitting them down on the table. “How are you feeling?” I looked and noticed the cuffs were gone.

“I’m good. Ready to get out of here, but I have to wait on the doc.”

On cue the doctor from earlier knocked once then entered. “Ms. Borders, it’s nice to see you in better spirits.” A few seconds later, a second doctor walked in. “Ms. Borders I want to introduce you to Dr. Bunch. Young man, I’m going to need you to step outside for a moment while we discuss some things with Ms. Borders,” Dr. Alvi said turning his attention to me.

“No!” Kia yelled out. “I…I want him to stay. Matt please don’t go.”

I wasn’t really comfortable with hearing whatever it was they were about to tell her, but I pulled up a chair and took a seat beside the bed.

“Alright,” he agreed. “Well, Ms. Borders I have some concerns, that’s why Dr. Bunch is here. You’re earlier behavior makes me think you might need some additional help.”

“What kind of help?” I asked.

“You’re a shrink aren’t you?” Kia asked looking at the other doctor.

“Yes I am. Dr. Alvi asked me to consult.”

Kia shifted in her bed and looked over at me quickly.

“Do you want me to go?” I silently hoped she’d say yes, but instead she shook her head no.

“There’s not much you can do for me. You just want to dope me up and have me stare at a wall for the rest of my life. I won’t let you do it!”

“Ms. Borders, no one is suggesting that, but given your condition…”

“I know about my condition,” she said cutting him off. “There’s nothing you can do.”

“I think you misunderstand Ms. Borders. We did bloodwork on you, and although your HGC numbers are low, I do believe you are pregnant. We’ll need to wait a few more weeks and retest you…”

“Pregnant?” I said, getting up and pacing around the small room. This was not happening. This could not be happening! How in the hell did this happen?! Fuck! I was going to kill Levi!

“MATT!”

“Huh?” I answered. All three of them were looking at me.

“I take it by your reaction to this news, you must be the father,” Dr. Alvi commented.

“Yeah most likely.”

I massaged my temples. One…two…three…My head was throbbing. I was graduating in a week’s time. I was preparing to start my life officially joining in on the family business. Now I was being told I was going to be a father. Four…five…six…Not only was I going to be a father, but the mother of my child was more unstable than I had even imagined. I didn’t think this could get any worse.

“I can’t have it.”

I was wrong. I was hit with a bad case of deja vu. Ten…eleven…twelve…Claudia telling me she was pregnant then in the same breath saying she wasn’t keeping it. What was wrong with me? Two women pregnant. Two women that wanted to terminate. The doctors and Kia were talking and it was all so surreal. This couldn’t be happening again.

 

“No! I get a say!” They all turned to look at me.

“Sir, understand…”

“No! I…get…a…say! If she is pregnant, then that means that child is half mine, and I will not be kept out of the decision making!” I turned to look at Kia. “Look, whatever’s going on with you I will help. I know none of this was planned, but we need to talk about this.”

“We’ll give you two a moment,” Dr. Alvi said.

After they left I started pacing. I needed calm. I needed routine. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing’s wrong with me!” she snapped back.

“I…sorry…didn’t mean it like that. It’s just, well I know something is off. I’m not passing judgment, I’m the last one that would do that, but considering we’re going to be parents, I think I have a right to know.”

Kia ran her hand through her hair and let out a loud breath. “Matt you called that night a mistake, now you’re talking about a lifelong commitment with a girl you were ashamed to have slept with.”

“I wasn’t ashamed Kia. I…it’s just that I didn’t want to blur the lines with our friendship.”

“Why not?”

“Because…because it could complicate things and I like to avoid complications if possible.”

“Complicate? Why because I’m crazy?”

“What? No! Kia, I’ve never thought you were crazy. A little…different, yes, but I’ve never called you names or talked about you like that.”

She took a deep breath and looked away. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and chewed on her bottom lip. “You’ve always been nice to me Matt. Maybe you’ve never said mean things about me, but others have and as much as I’d like to say they are all just assholes I can’t. The reality of it is, it’s true. I am crazy, or will be soon enough.” She wiped away a stray tear that rolled down her cheek.

How do I respond to that? I couldn’t. I just stared at her as I tried to process the fact she called herself crazy. 

“Boy if you could see your face right now,” she said laughing. “Take a seat Matt. I’ll tell you everything and at the end you’ll agree that it wouldn't be fair to bring a child into this world with me.”

I sat in the chair and waited for her to reveal everything. I could see she was uncomfortable talking about it. She started, then stopped a few times, but she eventually told me her whole sad tale. She had a rare degenerative, neurological condition the doctors called Harts syndrome, which fell under the umbrella of dementia. It was something that was hereditary and but it had been years since anyone in her family had suffered from it. The last person was her great-great grandmother. That was until her mother. 

Kia wept when she told me how her mom started forgetting to pick her up from school or how she left her at a restaurant when Kia had gone to the bathroom. She’d simply forgotten Kia was with her. From the onset of symptoms to when her father had her mother committed was one year. Kia said her mother’s condition went downhill quickly and her father was too embarrassed to care for her. Six months later, Kia was sent to live with her aunt. She was only 12 at the time. When her father learned the condition could be passed down, and it only affected the women in Kia’s family, he got rid of her.

“I hadn’t even displayed symptoms, he simply didn’t want me because I was ‘defective’” she cried.

“Of course that’s not the excuse he gave. He said it was because he traveled so often for work that he couldn’t properly care for me now that mom wasn’t around. He started out visiting, but they got to be less and less frequent until they stopped altogether.”

“Kia…I’m sorry.”

She shrugged. “It’s okay. Anyway I guess he was right in a way. My senior year of high school little things started to happen. I’d forget a homework assignment or I’d wake up on Saturday mornings frantic because I was late for school. I was scared, so scared because things happened so quickly with my mom and I did not want to be like her. Lifeless, spending days staring out a window.”

“Is your mom still in the hospital?”

She shook her head. “She died my freshman year of high school. I felt so bad because I’d stopped going to see her. It was scary to see her that way so I didn’t go; besides it’s not like she knew who I was anyway. Hell, she barely even knew we were there half the time.  My aunt used to try and guilt me into it, but I would ride with her to that horrible place but refuse to get out of the car. So she stopped making me go.”

“Your aunt, you’ve never gone to visit her since I’ve known you.”

“She’s dead. Had a heart attack. That morning we met, I’d actually just gotten back from her memorial service. So my only family is the man that doesn’t want me. He has 3 kids with his new wife, but I’ve never met them. I’m his dirty little secret I guess. He sends me a card twice a year for my birthday and Christmas.”

I handed Kia some tissues from the box on the table and watched as she broke down into tears. I didn’t know what to do or say as I tried to digest everything she’d told me. I knew part of the reason I stayed only friends with her was that although I tried to brush off my dad’s warnings, I knew something was off about Kia. I just didn’t know how bad until now. The things she’d displayed were mild and they could and would get worse. If that wasn’t bad enough, the child she was carrying could inherit this condition. Well if it was a girl, it could.

I got up and started pacing. “One, two, three, four…”

“What are you doing?” she asked between sniffles.

“Counting. Counting helps me when I’m stressed.”

“Oh…”

I went back to walking and counting. This was bad. Mom and Dad would be pissed, but they would help. They are always supportive. Kia could just move to Riverview with me.

“Matt!”

“Huh?”

“Look, you’ve always been nice to me. The only good thing that’s come of this illness was it let me meet you. That said…you would have never had sex with me had you not been…compromised. I have no family, no real idea what I’m going to do after college since none of the interviews I did have panned out. That coupled with the risk I could pass this along…”

She sounded like her mind was already made up. Just like Claudia. I’m…not…keeping…it! I don’t want it. When and if I become some brat’s mother it will be with a guy that can take care of me in the manner I require. Her hateful words replayed and they hurt today as much as they hurt then. Mom was so upset, I couldn’t do that to her again.

“Don’t do this Kia. Please! You won’t be alone. You have me. My family likes you. Come to Riverview with me. My family is loaded, we can get you the best care. I know you think this thing with you is like some sort of death sentence, but I think you’re wrong. You’ve proven that by still being you despite the fact you said you started having symptoms in high school.”

She still looked unconvinced. I needed to make her see that there were other options. She had to consider other options. I hadn’t told anyone about Claudia; never my high school friends, not anyone at college. That whole event stayed within the family, but I told Kia. Her reasons may have been different, but the end result would be the same, so she needed to know.

 “Sooo you want us to get married and live in Riverview?”

  
Married?! That wasn’t exactly my thinking, but for the first time since we started talking, Kia looked hopeful. I was foolishly willing to marry Claudia, so if that’s what it took, then I guess marriage would be it.

“Yeah, we can find a place and once we’re settled we can figure out things.”

Her face lit up into a large smile, and then it dropped. “Promise me one thing.”

“What?”

“I don’t want to end up like my mother. Locked up. Please promise me you’ll not abandon me and lock me away.”

“I promise.”

***A/N***

So Kia's illness is totally made up. I named it after Gus and Dorie Hart since based on their bios they both have the insane trait.

The hospital room is part of a larger build called the Cottonwood Medical Center by  Martine.