Gen. 5: Matthew Solo-Ch. 24

Lydia

I ran my hands down the front of the frumpy top in a vain attempt to smooth out some of the wrinkles. This was the last outfit I’d gotten from the shelter that wasn’t worn out. I kept it for special occasions, like going into places to fill out applications.

I looked at my haggard reflection. Peter always thought I was fat, nit-picked everything I ate, I wondered what he’d think of my weight now. Knowing him, it wouldn’t be anything good; he’d probably complain I was too skinny now. Admittedly this was the thinnest I’ve ever been, although the starvation diet wouldn’t have been my first option. The bags and dark circles under my eyes probably wouldn’t even be hidden by make-up if I had some to use. Again I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to tame it somehow.

“Whatcha doing Lydia?” This was a bad idea. 

That couple seemed nice, but what if they were some new age Lonely Hearts Killers. Or worse, they could be running some sort of mom and pop sex ring, luring in down on their luck people to spend the rest of their days chained to a bed having god knows what done to them.

“At least I’d have a bed.” I gave a curt laugh, shaking off the insane thought as quickly as it came.

They were nice, too nice and if I’ve learned anything it’s that if something’s too good to be true it probably is. But they said job, and after six months without one, or a place to call home, I’d be a little crazy to not at least see what the job was. I couldn’t keep trying to get clean in public bathrooms, sleeping on benches, and wondering where my next meal will come from. Every day that went by, I questioned my sanity on leaving the shelter. I’d just wanted out of that town so bad I’d used most of my cash to take the bus to the furthest location I could go which brought me here. But now here I was, poorer than a church mouse.

I picked up the torn piece of paper, reading over the name and address again. Since lunch yesterday I couldn’t get the fact that they had the baby, Cameron they’d called him. I’d wondered about him since the day I found him. How could someone just leave their child like that? I don’t know why I’d waited, maybe to give whoever came back a piece of my mind, but they never came and he got fussy. He’d needed to be fed so I took him to the one place I knew he’d be safest. Mr. and Mrs. Solo said they were the grandparents. Where were his parents? She thanked me. No one had thanked me for nothing in a long time. She seemed so genuine and so upset over whatever led to Cameron being left alone in the park that day. With one final look, I shoved my stuff back in my bag and headed off towards what I prayed would be the first step in getting on my feet.

Jonas

Last night Grace and I had what I considered to be our first argument ever. When I’d gotten home from the store, I saw she’d gone shopping for Lydia. Bags of clothes and shoes sat atop the kitchen table. I again tried to explain to her why I thought this was a bad idea, tried to offer up another solution to ways we could help that woman, but she refused to listen. She accused me of having no faith in her judgement or her ability to take care of her children. She wouldn’t even let me comfort her when she broke down into tears. 

Losing Kia the way we did, and Matt shutting out the world left her feeling helpless. I hated the sound of her crying, I spent every day making it my mission ensuring she only cried happy tears, but last night I only added to her stress. When she was ready to talk to me again a few hours later, I quickly apologized making sure she knew I supported her.  I told myself if this went bad, and Lydia ended up robbing us blind, well it’s only stuff that is replaceable. I’d convinced her that Matt needed a caretaker that wasn’t us, and this woman was her pick. If I was lucky, she wouldn’t show up today.

When I got to the top of the stairs, the sight before me stopped me in my tracks. It’d been a little over a month since the funeral and this was the first time I’d caught a glimpse of my son. My relief at seeing him was short lived once I really took stock of his appearance. Heavy bags under his eyes, sunken cheeks from not eating enough, not to mention how much weight he’d dropped.

His beard and hair was grown out and unkept as were his clothes, like he hadn’t showered at all while he was locked away. The most disturbing part were his wings, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me because they appeared faded, but then his aura was also different, fuzzy. There were specks of pink still present, but it was no longer as strong as it used to be, most of it was gray.

“Matthew.”

He looked at me with lifeless eyes, before shutting the door and locking it again. This was worse than I could have imagined. I was thankful now Grace sent me up to collect the tray instead. She couldn’t know what I just saw, she couldn’t know what I suspected was happening to him. She had enough to worry about without knowing her son was losing himself.

Shrinking down, I did the one thing I’d been telling Grace not to do. I slipped under the door. The room was dark, the curtains drawn and he was back in bed with the covers pulled high. The other side of the bed however, remained untouched. I stepped closer, stopping as a pungent aroma hit my nose. It smelled as if my earlier thought was correct, he was very much unshowered.

“Matthew?” No response, not even movement. “Son, we’re worried about you, your mother is beside herself. And Cameron, if you remain like this, he’s not going to know who you are. He’s already lost his mother, he needs his father.” The only response I got that time was him pulling the covers over his head. “Son, we are trying to let you go through this process in your own way, but seeing you like this…let us in Matthew, talk to us, let us help you.  I know you may be feeling lost and alone, but you aren’t. We’re here, we love you and we need you to find your way back to us. Back to your son. You are the only parent he has left, don’t abandon him.” I reached forward, giving his arm a light squeeze before exiting the room. I prayed my words got through to him.

Back outside, I took a few steady breaths needing to be sure I was calm so Grace wouldn’t suspect anything. My son was in a dark place and my faith that he’d get through it was no longer as solid. Seeing him just now filled me with doubts that we were handling this correctly. Maybe hands off wasn’t the best way. Maybe he needed more help, professional help. I had to be strong for Grace, she needed that from me now more than ever and I had to get our son back.

She and Cameron were sitting outside when I got back downstairs. The doorbell rang just as I walked out to join them. Lydia gave me a nervous smile, smoothing down the front of her outfit. The clothes had to be at least two sizes too big.

I stepped to the side to allow her into the house. “Good morning.”

“Good morning. It…ain’t too early is it? I tend to get up early these days then I had to get cleaned up and dressed and of course walk over here so…I’m sorry I’m ramblin’.”

I gave her a smile, hoping to reassure her. “It’s fine. It’s about eleven, so not too early. Besides we’ve been up for a while.”

  

The patio door opened and in walked Grace. She smiled seeing we had a guest. “Good morning Lydia.”

She didn’t get a chance to reply as Klutz came bounding into the house and ran directly over to investigate the new person in his home. She looked apprehensive as the massive ninety pound animal sniffed her. After a few minutes, he nudged his head under her hand, his way of forcing people to pet him. This wasn’t exactly a planned test, but the pop quiz had good results. While startled by Klutz’s excitement, she didn’t appear fearful of him and that was key. She needed to like dogs and he needed to like whoever we hired to stay here. Then again I couldn’t think of a person Klutz didn’t like.

“He…is he a he?”

“Yes,” Grace answered. “Klutz, he’s our son’s dog.”

“Klutz?”

“Yes, as a puppy he tripped over his feet a lot, especially when he tried to run. Are you hungry? We have muffins, juice.”

Grace handed Cameron to me, then headed into the kitchen to fix Lydia a plate; her need to mother and take care of someone in full effect. Pulling out a chair, I directed Lydia to take a seat at the table.

“You have a lovely house.”

“Thank you, it’s our son’s.”

I got Cameron situated in his bouncer. Grace joined us at the table, sitting down a plate and a glass of juice for our guest. Lydia picked at her muffin, her eyes darting back and forth between me and Grace.

“So yesterdee, y’all said something about a job.”

Grace gave a smile when she answered. “Yes, we’re in need of a caretaker.”

Lydia’s eyes went to Cameron. “Y’all want me to be his babysitter?”

I looked at my grandson who was happily playing with the hanging toys. “No, not him, our son. He’s…not well, and we need someone here to make sure he eats, take care of Klutz, that sort of thing until he’s better.”

Lydia’s brows drew together. “You…you said he’s sick…I…I’m not a nurse. As much as I’d love to have a job, I…I don’t think I’m who ya need.” She looked near tears at the possibility of this opportunity slipping through her fingers.

Grace looked up at me before getting up from the table. She walked over to the fireplace, retrieving the wedding photo and brought it back, handing it to Lydia.

“That’s our son and his wife. She…” Grace stopped talking, her emotions getting the best of her.

“She…died not long ago and our son is taking her death hard.” I finished for Grace as she excused herself, heading towards the half-bath.

Lydia studied the picture briefly before letting her eyes drift to Cameron, then back to me. “I’m sorry for your loss,” she spoke softly, handing me back the photograph.

“Thank you.” I glanced over at the still closed bathroom door, taking the brief opportunity to lay things out for Lydia. “Okay, here’s the deal, my wife is a quiet woman and doesn’t take to strangers often. She doesn’t trust easily and if her trust is broken, it will affect her deeply. Do you understand what I’m telling you?” She nodded her reply. “Good. For whatever reason she’s taken to you, which is a huge leap for her. The last thing I will tolerate is someone taking advantage of her kindness.”

Whatever response Lydia was going to make was cut off when Grace opened the door. “Are you okay?”

“Yes.”

I gave her a quick kiss, before taking her hand and leading her back to the table. We didn’t get a chance to sit as Cameron’s cries broke up any of the mounting tension in the room. Anytime he made the slightest whimper Grace was there to pick him up and comfort him, this time was no different.

“Jonas will you fix him a bottle, I’m going to take him up and change him.”

Grace

“Lydia, will you come with me. I can give you a small tour.”

Jonas gave me a disapproving look. I knew he still wasn’t a hundred percent on board with this idea, but he agreed to let me have my way. I knew he saw what I saw when I looked at her, he was better at the aura thing, but I had learned the meanings. She was a good person, I could  see that, especially after what she’d already done for this family. Lydia looked nervous and shot a quick glance over at Jonas, before getting up to follow me.

“Mrs. Solo, ma’am…this whole thing…I don’t wanna appear ungrateful cuz I never look a gift horse in the mouth, but this is…I don’t know if I’m entirely comfortable with this.”

I completed my task of changing Cameron. I couldn’t blame the poor girl; I was asking a lot of her. Trying to thrust her into a situation, I myself would be scared to even consider if the roles were reversed. She was brave to even show up today because I know I would have ran as far away as possible. I looked down at my grandson, giving him a kiss before walking over, holding him out towards Lydia.

“I have a feeling you’ve wanted to hold him since seeing him yesterday.”

She looked uncertain as she slowly reached out for him. Her entire demeanor changed as she held Cameron. It was the first time I’d seen her relaxed since we sorta forced ourselves into her life.

“I understand why you’re hesitant. I would be too. I just ask that you think about it.”

She nodded taking her eyes off Cameron to look up at me. “What about your son? Does he have a say?”

I looked over at Matt’s closed door. “Matthew…he…he hasn’t left his room since the funeral.”

Her eyes drifted to the door and then back to me. “Oh…”

“It’s why we need someone. Jonas and I have been here most of the time, our family helps out too, but I understand they have lives that they can’t keep putting on hold no matter how much they love Matthew. You probably noticed the girls we were with at the park, those are our daughters, and the back and forth is getting hard on them.”

She simply nodded, that deer in headlight look starting to reappear on her face. I desperately needed her to say yes. I needed to know that when I left Matthew, there would be someone here that would make sure he was okay in my absence.

“I don’t know how to help my son. I don’t know how to make his pain go away. What I can do is take care of him…” I stopped, taking a slow breath before I started to cry again. “My husband has told me plenty that this is a very unorthodox plan of action, especially coming from me. All I’m asking is that you just consider it.”

Cameron began to cry, reminding me that he needed to be fed. She tried to give him back, but I waved her off.

“That’s the guest room,” I stated pointing towards the open door as I headed back downstairs. “It’s where you’ll stay if you say yes.”

“You want me to live here?”

“Of course dear, how else are you supposed to be his caretaker?”

Jonas was waiting for us at the bottom of the steps. I took the bottle from him, handing it to Lydia. Jonas gave me a questioning look, but didn’t say anything. She looked at both of us, before walking over to the couch; she looked very much in her element as she fed Cameron. I walked over into Jonas’ awaiting open arms.

He thought this whole thing was crazy and it probably was, but it just felt right to me. I knew he’d have Caleb do a background check on her; it was understandable for his peace of mind. I also knew that Hope would most likely call and wonder if I’d totally lost my mind, maybe I have, but I had hope that things would all work out in the end. They had too.