Gen. 5.14-Matthew

**CHAPTER WARNING: PARTIAL NUDITY**

Grabbing the bag from the passenger’s seat, I smiled thinking about the surprise I’d planned for Kia. The last few weeks had been rough and she was starting to get depressed and her episodes were getting worse. Dad said I needed to connect with her more, that we needed to do things that made us more a couple. I could agree with that since most of our time was spent at doctor’s appointments or I was working. I admit I spent a lot more time at the store than needed because at least there I had a better sense of routine and control.

Day to day with Kia was always so up in the air and that stressed me. So far Klutz had been picked up by animal control because she took him for a walk and then left him at the dog park. I was happy the vet had convinced me to microchip him so I was contacted when they scanned him. She’d also caused a small fire in the kitchen because she forgot she was cooking. Luckily there wasn’t much damage done to the house. I was trying to be good and understanding, but some days I failed. I wanted to be a good husband to Kia, she deserved that, but the uncertainty of every day with her was becoming a lot to handle, I wasn’t sure how much more I could take. We had 3 more months until Cameron was born, then she could be put on the meds her doctors had suggested. I hoped once that happened things would start to get better.

Klutz ran past me as soon as I opened the door and immediately relieved himself. She forgot to let him out again. Poor guy. Some days I’d come home from work having to clean up after him because she’d simply ignore his whining. Other days he’d be left outside because Kia would forget he was out there. Klutz came trotting back inside looking much happier.

“How ya doing boy?” I asked, rubbing him behind the ears. “Where’s Kia? Is she sleeping again?” He responded by rolling onto his back for a belly rub before hopping up and running up the stairs.

Klutz was a lot like his father. Loyal, smart, and super easy to train. Kia wasn’t as fond of him at times, but she’d warmed up to him a lot more, which I was grateful for. I was worried I was going to have to leave Klutz with my parents.

At the top of the stairs, I followed the sound of Kia’s humming and found her in the nursery. She spent a lot of time in there arranging and rearranging the clothes and stuff. Mom said it was a nesting thing so I just went with it. I watched her as she sang some lullaby to our baby. The sight of her growing belly filled me with happiness. I was both scared and excited about meeting my son in a few months.

“Hey,” I said propping up in the doorway. She jumped at the sound of my voice. “Sorry didn’t mean to scare you.”

“How…how did you get in here?”

“Through the front door.”

“You can’t just walk into a person’s home without asking! Leave before I call the police!”

Shit! Not this again. One…two…three… Putting the bag down slowly, I then reached into my pocket to retrieve my phone.

“Get out!” she yelled again which made Klutz start barking and that only frightened her more.

“Shh, it’s okay boy. Kia…”

“How do you know my name?”

“Here,” I said holding my phone out to her.

This wasn’t the first time she’d freaked out when I got home. The first time she was upstairs and had called the police when she’d heard Klutz start barking with excitement. I hated having to explain to the cops that she was sick and forgot things sometimes. The second time, I managed to stop her before she made the call. After that, I started calling her when I pulled up so she’d know it was me walking into the house.

“I…I know you?” she asked looking down at the screensaver on my phone then back up at me.

“Yes, Kia.”

She looked down at the phone again before pushing past me and running into our bedroom.

“Well, this isn’t going as planned,” I sighed before following after her. I knocked on the door lightly, before opening it.

Kia sat on the bed, arms hugging herself as she sniffled quietly. She looked over at me, smiling as she wiped her eyes. “Matt, when did you get home?”

“Just now,” I replied taking a seat next to her.

“Bet you’ll be happy once I quit being this crazy hormonal person. I don’t even know why I’m crying. I was in the nursery and...and…I…I don’t remember.” Fresh tears spilled down her cheeks.

“It’s okay. Don’t cry. I have something for you.” I hopped up to go get the bag I’d left in the nursery. “Here, I got this for you.”

Kia pulled the shirt out of the bag and her eyes lit up. I definitely preferred the smile over the tears. Shopping was never my strong suit, but I was lucky that the sales lady took pity on me and helped me find something.

She attacked me with an excited hug. “Thank you! It’s very cute. Did you pick it out yourself?”

“No…I had some help. Do you like it?”

“Yes…wait why did you buy it?”

“What?”

“Is this your way of saying I’m getting too fat for my other shirts?” she asked tugging down her shirt that kept riding up over her growing stomach.

“What? No!”

She smiled. “You’re still cute when you blush.” Kia took off her shirt and I quickly turned to give her privacy.

“There’s a skirt in there as well, get changed and do whatever girl stuff you need. We’re going out.” I exited the room with Klutz following behind me.

I worked on reinforcing Klutz’s training while I waited on Kia to get dressed. I was really hoping she’d enjoy what I had planned. Considering her illness, we weren’t likely to have any more children, so Mom suggested I contact Aunt Starr for a photo-shoot. She still did freelance work for the magazines, but she was also the family photographer. She’d takens great pictures for both Mom’s and Aunt Hope’s wedding, not to mention the ones she took for our reception. When I called her, she was more than happy to fly down to do this for me.

“Matt, when did you get home?” Kia asked as she got to the bottom of the steps.

I gave her a forced smile. “Just now,” I replied. Today seemed to be a bad one. Maybe this was a bad idea, but it was too late to back out now. “You look nice,” I said, happy to see that the sizes I guessed at worked out well.

“Thanks, I…I don’t really know why I got all dressed up.”

She got that far off look in her eyes as she tried to recall things. I walked over and took her hand.

“We’re going out. I…um…I called a little bit ago and told you to get ready.”

“You did?”

“Yeah.”

I hated lying to her, but after a few arguments, I found it easier to downplay what was happening instead of trying to explain the truth. She’d get more upset when I’d point out she forgot things or did anything wrong. Avoidance became the best option if possible.

“I’m getting worse aren’t I?” she asked, the look of fear spreading across her face.

“No, Kia you’re fine. Mom called it pregnancy brain; she said she’d forget stuff all the time.”

“And when I’m no longer pregnant, what will be your excuse then?”

“Um…sleep deprivation?” I answered hoping to calm her before she got really riled up.

Kia smiled. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

She shrugged. “No reason.”

I let Klutz out one more time before heading off to the park to meet Aunt Starr. I was happy the weather was mild for the season. This morning it had looked like rain, but the sun burned away any clouds and it turned out to be a good day.

“So where are we going?”

“The park.”

“I got dressed up for the park?”

“I told you it’s a surprise.” I glanced over and smiled at Kia and she gave me a large one in return.

“I like surprises.”

“Well, in that case quit asking me questions.”

A few minutes later we arrived at the park. Taking her hand, I led Kia back to the clearing area near the canal.

“Matt, Kia, so good to see you,” Aunt Starr said, walking over to give me a hug. “Kia, you are looking radiant,” she commented. Aunt Starr went to rub Kia’s stomach, but Kia moved behind me acting fearful.

“Who is that?” Kia whispered.

I gave Aunt Starr a nervous smile. I should have messaged her to let make her aware of Kia’s demeanor today. I was grateful that Dad had explained to everyone about her condition prior to our reception. Aunt Starr waited as I explained who she was. Once Kia was got oriented, she was happy to learn about our plans for the day. Aunt Starr had us do some couple shots, it was a little awkward for me at first, I’ve never been fond of taking photos.

After a while I did start to get into it and Kia was really enjoying herself. Aunt Starr was right; Kia was radiant as she posed for the pictures.

After the shoot, Aunt Starr took us out for dinner. She and Kia talked baby stuff. That seemed to be the thing with women. Those who had kids liked to give advice to those who were pregnant. It came from everywhere, even the strangers sitting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office.

I didn’t understand it, the no apparent boundaries and the free giving of unsolicited advice. Was being pregnant really an opening to ignore normal rules of engagement or maybe it was just a chick thing. Kia never seemed to mind, so I guess it was just one of those things that was done.

Aunt Starr came back to the house since she’d not had a chance to see it. I’d thought she was going to spend the night with us, but she said she was making the drive to Barnacle Bay to go spoil my sisters. Once Aunt Starr left, Kia headed upstairs to get ready for bed. I let Klutz out one last time before heading up to bed myself.

Kia was walking out of the bathroom in nothing more than her underwear when I entered our room.

“Sorry,” I said, turning my back to her.

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

“Um…what?”

“A girlfriend, you know a person you’re dating.”

Kia had been fine since the park, but now I guess she was slipping away again. I let out a slow breath before answering. “No, Kia I don’t have a girlfriend. I have a wife. You.” I hoped my answer would appease her.

“I know you’re my husband Matt!” she snapped.

“Then why would you ask me if I had a girlfriend?” I fired back.

She grabbed my arm, spinning me around. “Because you never look at me! We’ve been married for nearly six months, we didn’t even sleep in the same bedroom for the first two or so. You won’t look at me. You never kiss me. I…I know I’m not your type. I know…I know I’m not your choice…”

“What are you talking about? I look at you every day. I kiss you before I leave for work and when I get home…”

“No you don’t! Not really. Matt, I’m not taking about a kiss to the forehead or on the cheek. When you walk into the room and I’m not dressed, you turn around or walk back out.”

The tears were starting to pool at the bottom of her eyes. One…two…three…tears. I still wasn’t any good with tears. Pops said he was the same way, he said crying women were his kryptonite.

“Six months, Matt and you haven’t touched me. There have been times when I thought about trying to seduce you…but I don’t because the outright rejection would probably hurt more than your subtle one. I know I’m not that super model, flawless, sorority girl type you dated in college, but I thought or at least hoped you found something about me a little attractive.” Kia wrapped her arms around her body and dropped her head, focusing on the floor instead.

“I…I…” I know we’d not had sex since that night, but I’ve shown her affection in other ways I’m sure. I’d hold her hand when we’d go out. I’d given her foot and back massages. At night, she liked to sleep curled up beside me. And we’ve kissed…I was sure of it, but as I tried to recall times, the only one that came to mind was at our wedding.

“I don’t care how you look.” The moment I said the words I wanted to take them back. The look Kia shot me made wish I could disappear. Shit! How did I keep getting into these situations?

“Thanks, that made me feel so much better!” she snapped before turning away from me.

“Wait,” I begged, grabbing her arm. One…two…three…four…“I didn’t mean it like that...just…what I meant was your looks had nothing to do with…this.”

I wasn’t in love with the other girls I’d slept with in college so it’s not like I needed one to have the other. Those were more casual hook ups, and that was fine because both of us knew that was all it was. After Claudia, I looked for girls that didn’t want more than that. Kia was different and from the beginning I treated her that way. Carefully. Even before I learned about her illness. I didn’t want to take advantage of her and if I’d stepped over that boundary I would have felt like I was doing just that.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Man…first you accuse me of cheating; now you’re calling me a liar! I’m starting to think you have a really low opinion of me!” I didn’t mean for the words to come out so harsh, but I’d taken a lot of her insults during outbursts and things. Those were mostly during her ‘off’ times, but now she was perfectly here and doing it. It hurt.

The look on her face changed from annoyance to shock, maybe sadness. It was hard to really tell since she was already upset. “Matt, I…I’m sorry.”

“I’m going to get ready for bed,” I replied. I walked into the bathroom and closed the door before she could respond.

I sat down counting quietly to myself. I worked hard to fight the overwhelming need I had to go out and run. I needed to feel the air on my skin, it helped clear my head. I needed a clear head right now. I’d feel better afterwards and hopefully she’ll have calmed down as well. Yes, I needed to run.

When I opened the door, I saw Kia just sitting at the edge of the bed. I looked at her debating on just leaving anyway, but found myself going to sit next to her. I waited to see if she’d say anything. For her that whole exchange could be just a distant memory now and sometimes I wished I had the luxury of being able to forget that easily.

“Will you ever love me?” she asked quietly.

I reached over, intertwining my fingers with hers. “I do love you Kia.”

“You just aren’t in love with me.”

“I’m committed to you and our marriage,” I replied, choosing to focus on the more positive aspect of this situation. “I am your fairy god-father after-all. That’s a very important job I intend to keep.”

She looked up at me and smiled. I examined her face. For the first time I wondered if our child would get some of her mannerisms, like the way her nose crinkled when she smiled, or if he would get the same animated expressions on his face when he got excited. It was also the first time I kinda wished we were having a girl. I knew Kia wanted a boy for her own reasons, but I would love to have a little girl that had the same adorable sprinkling of freckles that Kia had. She was right, I’d dated the more superficial types in college, but I was glad Kia wasn’t like that.

Kia laid her head on my shoulder and on instinct I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer to me. “I’ve been so concerned about taking care of you, trying to give you the family you’ve not had, that I’ve neglected…other things. I know this will sound crazy coming from a guy, but…well I just never thought about the sex. I was giving you privacy all those times. I didn’t realize you wanted me gawking at you as you undressed.”

Her face filled with color. “I did. I mean I know the stretch marks are kinda unsightly…”

“Nothing about you is unsightly,” I said cutting her off. “And I guess I’m not the only one who’s cute when they blush.”

Before she could respond, I leaned forward and kissed her, really kissed her for the first time since we’d been married. Kia was shocked at first, but it didn’t take her long to eagerly respond. The first time we were together was nothing more than a series of fuzzy memories in my head.

As I made love to Kia, I knew this time together was a meaningful and affirming moment for her.  For me, being with her, consummating our union as husband and wife made this whole relationship somehow more real to me. She was my wife now, in every sense.

We lay together afterwards, Kia curled up beside me drifting off into a peaceful sleep while I laid awake hoping this wouldn’t be a memory she’d forget in the morning.

**A/N**

Thanks to DJ for her help with some of the photo editing!!! Honestly not sure what I'd do without her assistance!

Thanks to Piazzagirl1015 for sending Starr to play family photographer again!

Bonus photo-shoot pics!!!