Gen. 5: Matthew Solo -Chapter 29

“This little piggy went to the market. This little piggy stayed home.”

My hand gripped the banister as I made my way down the stairs. The stranger’s voice rang out along with Cameron’s laughter. My legs hurt, I slipped. A bark then Klutz was headed straight at me.

“Klutz, where in tarnation are ya goin’?”

Her voice got closer. Klutz took a seat beside me on the steps, licking my face.

“Oh. Mr. Solo Jr. sir. Are ya alright? Come ‘ere you.” She stretched forward reaching for Klutz.

“He’s fine.”

She flinched and stepped back. Her gazed dropped to the floor. Cameron began to cry.

“Um…I have ta…” She turned and walked away. 

I rested my head again the banister, Klutz laid his against my leg.

“Miss me boy?”

“Why ya fussin’ Piglet? Wanna bottle?”

Piglet. That name again. That wasn’t his name. The sounds of Cameron’s babbling came next. He sounded excited, happy. Maybe he liked the name. Using all my strength, I pulled myself up to continue down the steps. Klutz ran right over to where Cam lay on his play mat.

I plopped down onto the couch. My breathing labored, I looked around the room.  Everything was the same yet different. Toys were scattered around. She wasn’t a very good housekeeper. My gaze settled on the woman in my kitchen. She seemed to be talking to herself. Her lips moved, but I couldn’t make out what she said. She looked up at me, gave a little nod, then walked over.

“Um, would ya like ta feed ‘em?”

I reached out to take the bottle. She turned to pick up Cameron. He clung to her almost like he was scared of me still. Of course he was. He didn’t know me.

“Stop being silly Piglet and go to ya daddy.”

She placed him in my arms. He felt strange. Heavy. He watched me as I watched him. This was the first time I’d held my son since getting him back. Cameron reached his hand up for mine. The warmth from his touch twisted the ache in my chest.

A whistle and Klutz jumped up from his spot on the floor and followed behind her. She walked outside leaving me along with Cameron. As if he could sense her absence, he started to whine, wiggling, moving around. I feared I’d drop him. My arms were getting tired. I held as tight as I could while moving so I could slide to the floor. Once down, he rolled from my arms onto the floor and proceeded to cry.

What do I do? How do I make him stop? His crying got louder, his face redder. Where is she? One…two…three…four…Why did she leave? Five…six…seven…

“Shhh, it’s okay. It’s okay. Want to count with Daddy?” Daddy. That’s me. I’m his father.

Slowly I reached down to pick him up. He wiggled, but I held tight. Putting him on my shoulder I started bouncing like I’d remembered doing when he first came home.

“One…two…three, counting helps when I’m stressed, four…five…six.”

I patted his back and kept counting. His crying started to subside. The door opened.

“Oh dear.” She rushed over and took Cameron.The relief in my arms was instant. 

“Piglet, what’s up wit ya today?”

“Why did you leave?” I snapped.

She looked at me wide-eyed. “I…just…I just thought ya might wanna be alone.” She walked over to put Cameron in his swing.

I tried to get off the floor back onto the couch. When she saw me struggling she rushed over to help.

“Here let me…”

I slapped her hands away. “I don’t need your help!”

Klutz growled. At me. I looked at her, whose gaze was firmly on the floor, then back at him.

He’d stepped up beside her and nudged his head under her hand. She gave him a quick scratch behind the ears before getting on her knees to pick up the toys. She didn’t say anything, but every so often I’d hear her sniffle and she’d wipe at her cheek. After she finished putting the toys away, she grabbed the unused bottle and went into the kitchen.

My attention went to the pictures on the fireplace. Our wedding photo and one of Kia holding Cameron. She was so happy in both of them.

That familiar weight settled in my chest. The anger and hurt bubbling up inside me. I squeezed my eyes, balled my hands into fists. She’d not believed I could take care of her. Claudia hadn’t believed it either. That was two. Two deaths on me. Their blood was on my hands.

I opened my eyes and looked over at Cameron who was fast asleep in his swing. He deserved better. Someone more capable than me. He didn’t want me anyway, he wanted her. I looked over at the stranger in my house. The woman that’d been caring for my son, caring for me. She was preparing food.

My food. I’d just yelled at that woman, made her cry, and she was dutifully making my lunch. She moved around the kitchen like she belonged there. My son wanted her. Hell even my dog wanted her. He’d gone into protective mode, I’d never seen him do that. Klutz was now curled up by the swing, always close to Cameron.

I turned back, surprised to see her standing in the living room holding the tray. She’d not spoken, not made any attempt to get my attention. She’d just stood there I guess waiting on me to notice her. She didn’t move. Made no attempt to come closer. She was an odd one.

“Are you just going to stand there holding it?”

She looked up at me briefly. Her eyes and the tip of her nose were red from crying. She took slow steps towards me, getting only as close as necessary to set the tray across my lap. A grilled chicken sandwich, with salad, an apple and cookies. One thing was certain, she made every attempt to keep me well fed. I watched as she walked over to the swing and turned it off.

“What are you doing?”

She looked back at me with that same wide-eyed, scared expression. “I was just gonna go put ‘em in his crib.”

Klutz got up and started whining softly while walking in circles in front of her.

“Shush now, I just took ya out.” She reached down to stroke his fur which seemed to calm him.

“Leave Cameron where he is. I came down here to see him so taking him away would defeat the purpose.”

She gave a quick nod then turned the swing back on. She then walked around the back of the couch over to the patio door. A route chosen no doubt to avoid coming near me. She opened the door, but Klutz refused to leave his spot so she closed the door. I took a bite of my sandwich and watched as she made herself a plate. She picked it up and walked off in the direction of the dining room table.

We ate in silence. The music from Cameron’s swing filled the air around us. I managed to eat half my sandwich and the salad. The need to sleep washed over me. I moved the tray and rested my head against the back of the sofa. I closed my eyes and listened to the soft lullaby, its magic working on me just as it had on Cameron.

I heard the chair scrape across the hardwood, followed by the soft clink when she placed her plate in the sink. I counted in my head how many steps it’d take her to get to the sofa. I opened my eyes just as she reached down for the tray. She froze.

“I…I’m sorry. Thought ya were done. Are ya? Want me ta leave it?”

I stared at her. She had freckles, just like Kia. Kia. I swallowed and turned away. “You can take it.”

She grabbed the tray and quickly retreated away. I laid down on the sofa and watched Cameron. She busied herself in the kitchen, cleaning I presumed. I could tell she was trying to make as little noise as possible.

“What’s your name?”

All her noise stopped.

“Lydia.”

I closed my eyes, focusing again on the music from the swing. Lydia.